The Mouse Tax

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

I wrote this in a moment of excessive pessimism about the growing welfare state. It isn’t that I’m against charity for those in need or for funding of programs that benefit society as a whole. I just don’t think we can afford everything that people think they deserve–at least not yet. But I think (hope) that technology will eventually provide the means by which we can produce enough goods and services to meet everyone’s basic needs after the robots take all our jobs. But I predict that it’s going to get much worse before it gets better.

If you give a mouse a cookie, he will want a glass of milk.
If you give him a glass of milk, he will also want a free supply of cheese.
If you give him free cheese, he will want a free school lunch to go with it.
If you give him a free school lunch, he will want a scholarship to go to college with you.
If you give him a scholarship, he will soon want forgiveness on his student loan so he can get out of debt.
If you write off his student loan, but he still can’t find a job because he studied the History of Cheese, he will want extended unemployment benefits.
If you give him extended unemployment benefits, he will get sick and tired of looking for a job and will want disability benefits.
If you give him disability benefits, he will want free health care to ensure he and his little ones stay healthy.
If you give him free health care, he will want subsidized housing to get out of his dirty little mouse hole.
If you give him subsidized housing, he will also want a full exemption from income taxes.
If you give him a full tax exemption, he will also want a child care credit to help take care of all his little mice.
If you give him a child care credit, he will still want social security benefits.
If you give him social security benefits, he will want amnesty so he and his mice can finally become citizens.
If you grant him amnesty and make him a citizen, he will want to vote.
If you let him register to vote, he will want to increase taxes on the rich and middle class workers to pay for all of his benefits.
If you promise to increase taxes for everyone else and increase his benefits, he will vote for you and will live happily ever after.
If he lives happily ever after, his children will have to deal with the eventual economic collapse, but who cares? It’s not his problem.

If You Give a Pig a Party

If You Give a Pig a Party

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